A letter to my boys

Dear Hunter & Dorian,

I love you more than anything in the entire universe, but it’s not always easy to be your Mom. Please, let me explain before any judgements are made. Right now, the reasons are different for each of you, but as you continue to grow I’m certain that they’ll meet up somewhere. 

Hunter; my little Bear. You are my biggest challenge. Probably because we’re so much alike! You’re stubborn and defiant, which makes the majority of things difficult. Even if your Dad and I are suggesting something you definitely want to do, you have a habit of resisting just because you can! I won’t even get into what happens when we suggest something that you don’t want to do. Some day I hope you’ll understand that all we want is to help you be the best person you can be. 

Dorian; my tiny little Prince. You’re still so little, but that doesn’t stop you from being a big handful! For the most part, I couldn’t ask for a better baby, but that’s probably what makes the hard times even more difficult. What I’m looking forward to the most right now about you growing up is being able to tell me what’s wrong; when you cry and we don’t know what’s going on, my heart breaks every time.

Sometimes I know I’m not the best Mom. And you know it, too. Then you lay some knowledge on me, and the sun peeks through the clouds. 

Yesterday was a difficult day, and I apologized to you for not being the best Mom, and you said something that was so unexpected that I started to cry. You looked at me with those big blue eyes that look so much like my Dad’s and said “It’s alright Mommy, you can start being better now!”. This gives me more hope than anything else you possibly could have said, because it shows me that you understand that I’m trying my best. Even when I don’t think my best is good enough, you know different.

You are both my greatest gifts, and struggles or not, I wouldn’t change a thing.




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