My extremely confusing Family Bush

What is a Family Bush, you may be asking? Well, it’s what happens when your family does a lot of Horizontal growth rather than the usual Vertical. 

Daddy was​ married THREE times before he passed away, and the first two have since moved on and settled down again. This makes for more parents than any one person should technically be allowed to have. 

The beginning is as good a place as any to start, and in the beginning it was Daddy and The Unit. They had Shauna and I and promptly split up.

Daddy’s second wife is who I think of as my Mom. Joanna has been a major part of my life since I was in the 4th grade, and is absolutely incredible. When I was in High School, she married Mike, who is now Dad; I don’t believe in calling any of my family “step” members, since it feels like that makes them sound inferior and they are absolutely NOT. 

Last, but certainly not least, he married Annie, who is affectionately known as Mom #3 when I was 16. With her also came my younger brother! He can’t be called my little brother because even when we were kids, he was bigger than me; some people just reach perfection sooner than everyone else 😉 

Technically, The Unit has what could probably be called a boyfriend (I prefer to think of him as a walking Mullet) and he has two daughters from a previous relationship, but due to the overall toxicity of that household, I don’t have a relationship with either one of them. If I’m being really honest, that is probably one of the most difficult parts of my disassociation with The Unit; the girls didn’t know or understand what happened, but I’m hoping that once they’re older they’ll forgive their Big Sister for not being around. 

That’s about it. 

Obviously there are extended families that come along with all those parents, but getting into all that is WAY too much effort. 

Carry on my wayward son. 



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